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Cut the Worry Fear and Live with Awareness
- Kathryn Tristan
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Welcome to Healing From Within with your host Sheryl Glick Reiki Master Energy Teacher and author of the newest book in a trilogy A New Life Awaits Spirit Guided Insights to Support Global Awakening which shares stories and messages from Spirit that show us our challenges are not economic political or societal but a spiritual disconnect from our inner source of soul awareness or true being. Today Sheryl is delighted to welcome Kathryn Tristan author of Why Worry? Stop Coping and Start Living who is a research scientist and assistant professor of medicine at the Washington School of Medicine.
Over the years guests of Healing from within have come to expect Sheryl and her guests to share intimate and personal insights into the nature of the human condition, health, and learning ways to merge all aspects of energetic and physical life for solutions to our traumas fears and limitations so we may make better choices to create a loving prosperous and healthy lifestyle.
In today’s episode of Healing From Within Kathryn Tristan will help us navigate and understand that with the US cases of coronavirus climbing everyday and no sign of stay at home orders letting up, many citizens in isolation are worried anxious and unclear of their current and future situations, due to this uninvited and unnatural Covid- 19 world pandemic. The excessive amount of fear stress and mis messages being dispersed from the media online, on our social channels and on television about the virus and its effects has created a disturbance in the 2020 election and how elected officials are making many unwise decisions. She will help listeners to focus our minds to overcome worry and anxiety using simple and easy tools of the mind body and spirit not just for this difficult time but to benefit us all the time.
When Kathryn is asked to think back to her childhood and remember a person place or event that may have signaled to them or to others around them what values and interests she might pursue as an adult for Sheryl believes within the heart and soul of the child is the destiny or life plan that will unfold and guide them forward Kathryn immediately tells of her difficult childhood an alcoholic father a divorce but a mother who shared her faith and metaphysical views that allowed Kathryn to eventually conquer her fear of not being perfect and not able to take risks so she could move beyond her comfort zone which she began to do as she matured.
We are aware that everyone to one degree or another is worried and stressed, but when do we know we are hitting the RED ZONE? We all worry. It’s a natural part of living. A biologically built-in mechanism, worry was designed to help us. Where do we go wrong? For millions worldwide, worries are eating away at our sense of security and our feelings of well-being, and are ultimately downsizing our happiness while supersizing our stress. We cannot open a newspaper, turn on the television, listen to the radio, or surf the internet without witnessing chaos, catastrophes, or just plain old bad news. Our personal lives also are challenged. Work, home, relationships, finances, health: each aspect is one ball in our juggling act
We must come to understand what worry is. Worry is a multifaceted emotion with many forms and intensities. In its simplest understanding, worry is a response to a stressful situation that is fueled by analysis, imagination, and often exaggeration. Depending on your responses and the mix of these three elements, worry may help you solve a problem or overwhelm you with fears about future calamities. Worry is the hub, the nucleus, the center from which many other emotions emanate, such as anxiety, panic, and depression. Worry levels can range from mild to severe.
There are three levels of worry.
At Level 1, worry is the little voice that alerts you to possible trouble ahead. When you resolve worry at this level, it can provide helpful input regarding the situation that needs to be addressed. It can offer a competitive edge as you consider possible outcomes and develop strategic responses. You can also seek input from your intuitive side or inner spirit to help you to arrive at the best possible solution. At Level 1, you may feel vulnerable but also capable of responding to the challenge.
At Level 2, worry spreads and escalates into the fearful hypervigilance of anxiety or the chronic rumination of depression. You may feel stuck, powerless, and unable to resolve issues and stresses. Your connection to your inner spirit and intuitive guidance erodes. It is easy to feel tense and difficult to feel relaxed and peaceful.
At Level 3, worry erupts into panicky feelings. Worry has now become toxic. Because they may come out of the blue, you cannot find logical reasons for these troubling feelings, which seeds more worry and more anxiety. A loop of fear engages and may spread to more and more situations. Here, exaggeration replaces appropriate analysis and leaves you with the overwhelming feeling that you can’t handle the situation. You feel disconnected from your inner spirit and intuitive guidance. Panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) are examples of Level 3 worry.
This is exactly what happened to Kathryn. And maybe one of the worst ways to worry. Her analytical brain automatically churned out possible scenarios of what could go wrong in any situation, leaving me tense and wary about the unknown future. Like many, she felt that if she worried enough, perhaps it would help her anticipate and thus prevent bad things from happening. Instead, this natural, well-meaning plan became a chronic mental infection.
During Kathryn’s super stressful sophomore year in college, while studying day and night for her finals, she suddenly experienced a sense of overwhelming fear as she reviewed formulas she didn’t really understand in her chemistry book. The more she noticed this feeling, the more afraid she became. Kathryn wanted to run away, but there was no danger; it just felt like there was. She wondered if she was having a heart attack or losing my mind as physical symptoms became noticeable. She learned later that this experience was a panic or anxiety attack. She didn’t figure that out for quite some time, though, and she continued having episodes, but in more and more situations: driving on the highway, sitting in the classroom, shopping at the grocery store. It seemed that anything could trigger an attack. She was given some sedatives and told by school counselors to relax more. She worried constantly about having these awful feelings. Eventually they subsided, and she was able to bury those troubling emotions. Time helped, but it took several months of confusion and occasional gripping fear. She thought fear was her problem. It didn’t occur to her to change her daily stress-producing routine. In other words, she was focusing more on the outcome (fear) than the cause (stress)—on the outside rather than the inside.
Kathryn shares with us some of the best ways to deal with worry. Her “Eureka!” moment appeared when I finally realized that worry is a choice. Worry is indeed an inborn response that alerts us to possible trouble, but instead of allowing its dire predictions of future calamities to escalate, I have the power to evaluate it and to react differently. I can choose to hear the voice of worry and disagree; I can choose to maintain harmony with my psychological immune system whose biologic purpose is to help, not hurt. Here are some other things I learned. Our fears provide valuable lessons. Combining the wisdom and knowledge of our mind, body, and spirit, we can solve any problem. Within each of us is a powerhouse of inner energy that we are seldom aware of; we just have to release it. We can challenge worry and create peace in simple ways. Within us is the power to handle not just some but all of our challenges.
Although we can choose to make great strides out of the pit of worry, choice alone is not enough. Thundering doubts will persist. This is the protective side of worry. However, we can choose instead to hear a quieter voice that assures us we will be safe and can handle whatever we need to handle. By disagreeing with the doomsday voice, we can amplify another that says, “All is well!”
We can train ourselves to worry productively Thus, overcoming chronic worry is an active, not a passive, process. Our real journey begins when we start to step outside of our comfort zones and take risks to move beyond our limitations and improve our lives. As you practice challenging yourself in small ways, you will find something miraculous happening. You will begin to feel comfortable and powerful as you face challenges. Risking and doing are far more powerful than worrying and wondering. Not long after Kathryn began challenging herself to go farther and farther away from home, she took her first plane flight from Saint Louis to nearby Chicago. There was a thick fog that morning. Although the worry voice was loud, she thanked it for trying to protect me and forged ahead. She boarded the plane with her wonderful friend Pam. She will never forget the sensation when the plane lifted off the runway. In an instant, the rough and bumpy ride turned silky smooth. We were riding on air and softly ascending into the gentle sky. In between patches of fog, she watched the airport and surrounding houses get smaller. Then a remarkable thing happened. The fog that blanketed the airplane like swirling smoke just disappeared. In its place was a bright, beautiful, golden sunlight and brilliant blue sky. What an amazing sight for her first airborne view of the heavens. Below us was a pervasive cottony layer of clouds. Kathryn beamed and looked over at Pam. She had tears in her eyes. She knew this was a life-altering moment for me. It was a golden flash of victory over a lifelong struggle to release myself from the darkness of my worries and fears. She wasn’t crying; her heart was rapidly beating, excited and enthralled. Risk can do that for us. It frees us, it empowers us, and it places us directly back on our life’s path.
Kathryn and Sheryl discuss the challenges and fears and their own experiences in dealing with COVID -19 CHANGES They both conclude that like anything harmful or negative that comes from the outside world with proper thinking and assessment it can be seen as an opportunity to remember your eternal intuitive guidance soul system that connects you to the Universe or divine source of healing and appreciation for your life journey, knowing you are a spiritual being having a physical life, and when thinking positively even about the worst circumstances you create an energy which draws more of that positivity to you and it is possible to transform the illness to wellness. You can also come to know that whatever happens is part of “experience” neither good nor bad, just necessary for your soul to experience and to conquer the fear.
At the present time many are worried about the loss of a job or are worried you will and are totally stressed by everything. What is the best advice to give someone in that situation to help them? Kathryn tells a story of Tim who is unemployed and can’t find a job. He worries that he’ll never find work or be able to pay off his mounting debts. He’s miserable, and he sends that energy to everyone around himTim isn’t using worry to solve his problems; instead, he is creating more problems because of his unproductive reactions.
As Kathryn and Sheryl know energy draws more of that same energy to you. Fear generates fear as hope generates an energy of positivity and simply allows others to feel good when in your presence and ultimately everyone benefits. Shery as an intuitive healer suggests to her clients that they meditate pray or simply talk to that Universal Source and make clear intentions as to what they need and want and often it doesn’t take long for those thoughts to be materialize.
In Sheryl’s new book A New Life Awaits Spirit Guided Insights to Support Global Awakening she writes, All beautiful souls must strive to find ways to move beyond the manipulation and mind control perpetrated by society and our earlier upbringing in order to discover that we are not alone, and that loved ones on both sides of life, our earth life and our eternal life, surround us with their courageous hopes and whispers of life and afterlife possibilities. You don’t even necessarily need an illness or insurmountable challenge to tap into this place of uncompromised support for your soul and mind truth. You might have a dream, hear a song, take a walk along a mountain trail or an ocean shore, or eat a divine meal and in a moment of joy, realize that you have everything you need within yourself to live fearlessly and to conquer this illusion of mind control and death. In that moment, you are free to explore your inner landscape and to visualize what it is you truly long
Kathryn tells us that stress and worry are hitting us at a younger and younger age. Why do you feel students are losing the battle against stress? After all, lots of people have concerns. The difference is in how you let them affect your life. Worry becomes a problem when it escalates to the point where it robs your life of joy, and when you begin to focus on your worries instead of living life to the fullest. When this happens, worry controls you. You begin to live in a more anxious state, waiting for the next bad thing to happen. When you expect a negative outcome, it can become a self-fulfilling destiny. Thus, by agreeing with worry, you give it power that prompts you to watch out for anything that could be similarly worrisome. By agreeing with worry, you expand it. By agreeing with worry, you’re launched into the troubling world of anxiety. When we experience anxiety, we have supersized our worries. Anxiety not only results from worrying but So what’s the problem? After all, lots of people have concerns. The difference is in how you let them affect your life. Worry becomes a problem when it escalates to the point where it robs your life of joy, and when you begin to focus on your worries instead of living life to the fullest. When this happens, worry controls you. You begin to live in a more anxious state, waiting for the next bad thing to happen. When you expect a negative outcome, it can become a self-fulfilling destiny. Children are absorbing many of their parents and friends fears and reactions due to the face moving pace and the expectations being imprinted on them. Also many children now during this spiritual evolution we are apart of are EMPATHS and are actually able to feel other peoples emotions and physical reactions as well as differentiate between the energy of places which hold energy for long times after events.
Over a period of time, our negative reactions develop into quick firing neural circuits that become wired in our brains and bodies. Our minds and bodies become accustomed to following the negative training we are providing: the training to overreact, overstress, and over worry. The myriad interactions in which we participate every day—our jobs, finances, relationships, and so on—can drain our energy resources, leaving us on an autopilot that idles in a constant state of feeling overwhelmed and anxious. When worry becomes supersized into anxiety, it is sending us a message. The angst we feel comes from the impossible demand to control the outside world. However, true control lies within. True control releases us from the need for total control. True control is strengthened by our conscious intention to work from inside out and in connection with our mind, body, and spirit
Sheryl might say because they don’t really have an understanding that wellbeing and healing come from within from an intuitive soul energy and that the outside world is not really the cause of unhappiness or the poor choices made if one is following the herd mentality and trying to fit into the world according to other people’s expectations they are giving up part of their soul needs just because they want to be accepted and fit in. Understanding life and perhaps even death which so many are afraid of and knowing nothing is really good or bad just experiences our soul programmed into their life journey even before they entered this physical life is extremely freeing. A spiritual awareness of life is an aid in truly learning more about yourself and how to deal with all issues
Kathryn goes on to touch on the Four Core Concepts covered in the book which give a clear understanding of what is needed to move pass worry and create a fearless approach to any issue or happening.
These four CORE concepts help you change how you view your life. They will provide a template for experiencing the magic and joy of life. And they will help you learn how to empower yourself and stop worry from being your driver. Each concept builds on the previous one, and you progress at your own pace.
Here’s a quick summary of these tools.
The C in CORE stands for Choice. Healing from fear begins by recognizing that your life is built on your choices. This initial concept reveals a secret: choice provides power. How you react to any situation, event, or experience is something you choose. You overcome chronic worrying when you begin making power-building, rather than fear-seeding, choices.
The O stands for Outlook reveals that how you think about anything determines how you experience everything. By changing how you perceive, process, and react to any situation, you surge past seemingly insurmountable problems. You can create safety and feel more powerful. You can deconstruct inner trash talk and negative thinking, and consciously rewire, retrain, and restore more productive ways of reacting to worries and challenges. Ultimately, you launch into your own recovery by taking charge of two natural inner forces that either hurt or heal. Changing your outlook is a key strategy to overcoming worry.
R stands for learning to take Risks. Worriers don’t embrace the idea of doing anything risky, anything that might heighten an already overactive sense of danger. But embracing your ability to make better choices and connect with inner sources of strength reenergizes your self-confidence and allows you to take small steps away from worry. As confidence builds, you begin to free yourself from the prison of chronic worry. You learn how to tone down the voice that says “don’t” and amplify the one that says “do!” You learn how to reenergize feelings of happiness and realize that taking risks may not be so risky. Instead, you find you are your own source of safety in any situation. You find that risks can lead to fun, exploration, and adventure. You find that worry fades like a bad memory, while excitement for life emerges.
E stands for Embracing Spirit. When you embrace your inner spirit, you cultivate the highest part of yourself that loves life, gives direction through your feelings, and perceives meaning beyond the five senses. As you continue pushing back the barriers that have hindered you, “overwhelmed” and “defeated” are no longer in your personal vocabulary. Embracing your inner spirit and your intuitive side allows you to surge beyond limitations and head into the remarkable. It releases a buried treasure. It rejuvenates a childlike sense of wonder, imagination, and adventure. This treasure is expansive and fun. When you feel free and safe enough to explore instead of recoil, you do things you never thought you could, and by turning your pain into an opportunity for growth and healing, you open the door to becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be
In one of Kathryn’s chapters she mentions the Japanese philosophy of Wabi Sabi and applies it to improving our lives.
Wabi-sabi, a Japanese philosophy, describes beauty as “imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete.” It honors all things dented, scratched, weathered, and worn. (Imagine that, you perfectionists!) This view of beauty has evolved over the centuries from early Buddhist teachings that focus on the transient nature of life and the value of just being. Today, particularly with regard to art, wabi-sabi means “imperfect beauty.” Wabi-sabi brings a quiet acceptance of life as it is, rather than what we demand it to be. It inspires us to look beyond what we see, despite perceived flaws, and seek a greater understanding of the beauty that is all around us. A chipped bowl, old wood, aged fabric, or yellowing paper—all can be objects to celebrate
Sheryl says that as a Reiki Master Teacher which is a Japanese healing art practice the Five Principles show us a path to peace harmony and balance beyond worry and suffering also bringing an acceptance of self and life as it is.
They are as follows.
- Be slow to anger
- Be slow to worry
- Honor your family elders and community
- Be appreciative of your work and do it honestly.
- Be kind to all living beings.
Kathryn goes on to write, “It is important that we develop our own wabi-sabi savvy, to transform our demanding and perfectionistic outlook into a quiet acceptance of the transient but beautiful nature of our own lives. We can begin to experience a peacefulness despite our own “cracks.” We can begin to realize, through a quiet acceptance and an inner knowing, that all can be harmonious. We can shine our internal spotlight on celebrating who we are and on the gift of life that is always, in its own way, already perfect and beautiful.”
The book’s subtitle is “Stop Coping and Start Living” Isn’t that also true of worry? Unfortunately, constant worry fuels anxiety and creates a chronically unsettled mindset. If you anticipate that something bad is going to happen, it makes sense that you feel nervous. But over time, your body locks into a biochemical mode that responds to your unconscious directions. Worry and nervousness become personality traits, your natural idle. That makes it difficult to know what bothers you because everything does. New scientific findings are helping to shed light on how this happens. One of the most exciting breakthroughs in neuroscience is the discovery that our thoughts and feelings can change the very fabric and function of our brains. This young science, called “neuroplasticity,” describes the astonishing process of how the brain can wire and rewire itself. Neuro refers to nerve cells (neurons) and plastic suggests malleability or changeability.
Of course, we all worry sometimes. When it genuinely helps to solve problems or alert us to real danger, worry can be a powerful means for protection and productivity. Our goal is not to eliminate all worry but to learn how to respond to it in a way that helps, not harms. For example, worry can be the twinge of thought that suggests you see the doctor when something is wrong—an appointment that might reveal a potential health problem just in time. Worry can also be the internal prodding that suggests you take a cab instead of walking home at night—a decision that may save you from being mugged. Concern about how well you will do for an upcoming presentation may help you polish it to a higher level of professionalism. Concern about the competition in business may help steer you on a more productive and successful path. Concern about health may help you eat better and exercise. In these cases, worry has the positive effect of helping you deal constructively with intimidating or challenging situations. Whether it’s business, competitive sports, or just living, knowing how to worry smart allows you to improve your life.
So a bit of worry can be a helpful thing.
Of all the suggestions Kathryn gives she might like readers to remember a story she tells of her teenage years. The school, the classmates, and the teachers were all new to me. Initially, she felt like an outsider who didn’t fit in. Worry started worming its way into her daily thinking habits, as she wondered who she would sit with at lunch, who she would talk to between classes, or even just who might think that what she was wearing was unfashionable. Thoughts many of us may have had at that time in our lives. At about the same time, my family took a trip to a state park, where we went on a tour of a large, well-known cave. As we got into the middle of the cave, the guide abruptly turned off the lights to show us how truly dark it was. I had never liked the dark as a child, and the plunge into total darkness unnerved me. A lightning bolt of fear hit. I didn’t say anything or react outwardly, but I found my mother’s hand and held it until the guide turned the lights back on. For the remainder of the cave hike, I worried that the lights would go off again. Shortly after that, I started feeling uncomfortable riding in the backseats of cars or any place I couldn’t quickly leave. The pangs of apprehension had been amplifying and the expanding nature of fear had begun to kick in and chisel away at my life.
What I didn’t realize then was that anxiety can boil over from worry just like heating a pot of water. In this case stress fuels the fires. The time to intercede is before it makes a mess. The time to act is before it goes out of control. The time to make changes is before worry gets to the point of boiling over into anxiety. You do this by learning to recognize the warning signs of intensifying stress. For chronic worriers, that can be a challenge. The Worry Spectrum Learning to identify when you automatically kick into the worry mode is a key-first challenge. Only when you become aware of your mental chatter can you consciously choose to transform your harmful reactions into productive responses. Worry is energy. It is just like sunlight that passes through a prism to create a rainbow of colors. In this case, the light is your experience, the prism is your mind, and the colors are your thoughts
We thank Kathryn Tristan for sharing her thoughts and healing suggestions in her new book Why Worry Stop Coping and Start Living for sharing a comprehensive look at fear anxiety worry and the challenges of modern day life expanding worry into a full time pandemic which can be conquered once we understand why and how it is happening and ways to solve it.
In summarizing today’s episode of Healing From Within we have discovered the source of many physical and emotional grounds for fear and worry and how to recognize what needs to change in our own thoughts and actions so we can make choices to quiet from within many unrealistic fears.
Kathryn Tristan wrote, “When you shift your outlook about what is perfect, you begin to view your difficulties differently. You find creative ways of dealing with them. You empower yourself, dig down, and find the strength you need to handle your problems. It has been said, “Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered, and no one was there.” Once you see that our lives are shaped and molded by our reactions to what may, on the surface, seem to be imperfect situations, you take a giant leap out of worry and into power. Are you willing to accept and work within your perfectly imperfect world? Are you prepared to develop creative ways of dealing with your problems? Are you willing to consider them as challenges, not victim-producing disasters? Are you choosing the attitude that you can handle whatever is happening? This frame of mind empowers you and helps break the chains of worried thinking.”
Kathryn and I would have you begin to remember who you are as spiritual beings having a phyiscal life with the immense magnificence of your potential and personal power to create or manifest all that you hold dear with positive thoughts and moving always in a direction that honors yourself and others. Hold your truths and create love and compassion which are your natural state of being anyway.
Sheryl Glick is host of Healing From Within and author of the newest book in a trilogy A New Life Awaits Spirit Guided Insights to Support Global Awakening and invite you to visit her website www.sherylglick.com to hear visionaries authors scientists spiritualists educators healers psychologists and those in the arts share perspectives on life in both the physical and energetic realms so we may harness the power of both to improve our personal and collective life improving ourselves and our planet. Shows may also be heard on www.webtalkradio.net and www.dreamvisions7radio.com
