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Lead With The Heart
- Regina Cates
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In today’s episode of Healing From Within, your host, Sheryl Glick author of The Living Spirit: Answers for Healing and Infinite Love welcomes Regina Cates, author of Lead With Your Heart- a combination of wise advice, anecdotes and strategies for creating a life that is authentic, fulfilling and healing. As we know, many people are living in the physical experience disconnected from their heart essence and soul life and are more controlled by their ego. Regina and Sheryl have been privileged and honored to discover the heart, mind and body connection and to offer that to the public for it is only in this mindset and functioning that the stress and challenges we experience in our everyday lives can be transformed and exchanged for a more loving life style.
Regina will share her discovery that in our left-brain, which is the dominated world of logic and ego, it can be easy to get caught up in the rat race of success and forget the dreams and needs of our heart. It may not be enough to just follow your heart—you must lead with it. Today we will show you how to ask yourself hard questions, be responsible for your own actions, face your fears, develop compassion set boundaries and think differently.
Regina’s intense search for spiritual awakening and truth could have began when her dog developed heart disease due to poor dental care or when she lost her job, her home and was unemployed for two years and had to move back with her parents or when maybe when her back became unstable “…one sneeze and a lower disc herniation and then back surgery. Through it all, Regina’s inner voice told her to keep exercising, eat right and stretch. She was feeling sorry for herself and hoped for a miracle.”
Regina wrote, “It was then that I discovered who was actually responsible for creating the joyful and fulfilling life I wanted. Creating the life I wanted was completely an inside job. If I was my own worst enemy how could I be my own best friend. As I was the only one who could develop greater self-love self-acceptance peace and joy, I could no longer blame other people for my life. Seeing life through the eyes of an emotionally immature child allowed hurt to speak for me and to be driven by inappropriate impulses. I learned that heartache and disappointment happened when I practiced reactionary and self-justifying behavior and through self-assessment I realized that living insensitively is being out of control. Unfavorable action carries baggage in the form of damaging consequences. The returning result may not happen right away, yet the energy expended is guaranteed to be returned.”
Finally when sitting alone on her 43rd birthday, Cates hit emotional bottom with the realization that prior to that moment, she had been lost in the abyss of trying to live up to other people’s expectations and as a result she had given away one of her most important gifts the power of choice. Cates realized that while we cannot control other peoples or situations, she had a choice in how to respond to them. Cates shows us that if we choose to act from a place of love instead of a place of fear, we make our lives and the lives of those around us more joyful. That became the day a new birthday and life pattern began.
Sheryl says that while we may not always be able to do this in the beginning of becoming mindful of the triggers that press our buttons and cause us to feel anger, fear, pain, or sorrow, we will over time and with practice, begin to think of our actions, how they affect others and how to practice the law of attraction—giving and receiving good will and love and in the process conquering many of the hurts or imprints of past situations that affected us negatively or hurtfully.
Sheryl gives us an example. “When I was a kid I came home and told my mom that a kid was a flat-leaver…maybe that kid wanted me to do something I didn’t or couldn’t do and had run off leaving me in the dust. As a sensitive and a person with integrity I often found myself unable to resonate in the group mentality of the moment which was often not suitable for my goals and higher development. I never got pulled along because I wanted to please anyone else..if it didn’t work for me I said No. Many people are unable to do that but it is the first step towards knowing yourself your life plan and destiny and finding peace and wellbeing. Today I try to be inclusive rather than separate people from activities while highlighting similarities rather than differences, and choosing cooperation over excessive competiveness and self-interest though some competition is needed for balance.”Just recently, I was not invited to an event and it touched that sensitive button from the past…but in a different way. This time I could see that I still have expectations for people to behave in a way to love and honor everyone as I try to, but yet, each soul is on their own journey and search and my values may be of little value to them. We cannot change anyone and everyone is always moving from their source of pain to pleasure and when overly self interested will often miss the needs of others… In the process of evolving we must learn to be sensitive and aware of the bigger picture—sacrificing some of our own emotionally immature behavior to find joy in letting go and seeing new ways to interact with people or new ways to make connections that serve our happiness and growth..that could be a goal that may be beneficial.
Regina tells us that learning to lead with your heart is often hard to describe yet a fully understood part of her. It is where the positive guiding principles of a conscious life, such as responsibility, cooperation and peacefulness originate. It means learning to respect yourself and put self-centeredness, blame, judgment and feeling like a victim behind…it means to create a life of deep meaning by leading with the respectful, compassionate and sensitive part of me.. It means to celebrate life.
To lead with the heart also means we refuse to allow egocentric self-centeredness to rationalize or excuse irresponsible behavior. When you and I make a promise, either to ourselves or to someone else we love ourselves by making good on the promise. Sincere assessment of ourselves and our behaviors is the way to identify self-centered illusions, rationalizations and excuses that are preventing us from seeing ways to avoid problems and create the relationships we want that make life meaningful.
Leading with your heart means to drop old images of what you and other people were like in the past and to allow opportunities to create more positive behavior and not to jump to conclusions or make judgments when events happen that you are unable at the moment to understand..seek the facts that support you in making the best decisions that avoid problems and make life easier for yourself and others.
Sheryl wonders “What if after you know all the facts you are still not able to accept the person’s behavior which may have been acceptable to others but morally doesn’t feel right for you?
Regina tells of the story of when she tryed to defend a secretary she felt had been embarrassed by the doctor in charge and received an e-mail from Dr. X chastising her and her wounded pride she felt justified her action while she thought to herself…He was an arrogant self-absorbed ass..he may have a PhD but lacked civility and he displayed rude condescending behavior… BUT THEN SHE HAD TO HONESTLY ADDRESS THE HARD TRUTH OF HER ON BEHAVIOR.”
1…..Had I treated Dr. X as I would want to be treated? NO
2….Had her rudeness accomplished anything positive? NO
3….Would she feel better now if she had chosen not to engage in the first place? YES
4….Did Dr. X’s behavior change my responsibility for my own behavior? NO
5….Doesn’t attempting to control others really mean we are not in control of ourselves? YES
Sheryl Says “In The Living Spirit Answers For Healing and Infinite Love, and as a medium who understands that there is no time and space beyond this physical plane she advises her clients to resonate in the present moment of mindfulness and focus..the past is concluded and if you chose to access a pleasant memory there is nothing unreasonable about that but thinking of events that were painful harmful or unhappy merely bring you back to that moment and allows you to feel and act as you did then creating an environment and energy which will draw similar events to you now….so don’t allow yourself to enter that realm of victimhood. Don’t engage suffering as a choice. Choose to be happy and look forward to new opportunities.
By the same token, the future is also happening as our thoughts and energies swirl together in that infinite realm of Universal Source where everything is being created … past future and present are happening simultaneously as new theories in Quantum Psychics are now revealing. We should remember that each individual is functioning with the resources and knowledge available to them at that moment and cannot think exactly like us as they have their own personal journey choices desires wishes and karma…and probably do not mean harm though if a person is less sensitive their behaviors and actions might be seen by a more sensitive or open hearted person as less caring hurtful and thoughtless and for the moment hurt them but whenever that happens you need to ask yourself “Why the unpleasant event happened and what can you learn from that event”
Regina says “Remember deep lasting and intimate relationships are based on shared values that govern behavior.” Patient people like to be around calm people…compassionate people seek out those with big hearts…honest people like truthful people….self-disciplined people relate to other people who share their level of self control. Fear cannot grow where the light of truth shines. Having nothing to hide is true freedom.
Sheryl Says so would it work in reverse that people who are thieves or dishonest seek out those energies or behaviors in others..so really we are dealing with the Law of Attraction here…a law of Universal Energy that says we draw to ourselves what we create by our thoughts and actions. So therefore the first step in honoring yourself is to determine what feels good as opposed to what feels bad when examining your problems, relationships and beliefs..then to make appropriate changes to move towards what is more gratifying to you.
A person can remain positive when they are bombarded by the news reports and media which highlight negativity and pessimistic views of people and irreversible situations if they remember that opinion is not fact but a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty and the personal view, attitude or appraisal by media sources are often altered, compromised, or enlarged, for dramatic effect, and often bombard us with tragedy and the worst of human behavior..the choice is ours to look beyond the immediate information being feed to us without making judgments and issuing further negative involvement which can harm you and your peace of mind.
Regina asks the question “When do we stop identifying people with their mistakes and forgive then as we want to be forgiven?” She then tells us of several events that happened to her when she was eleven years old and then again at age seventeen and how it felt to experience emotional, psychological and physical pain due to the actions of others. Sheryl asks Regina how did these events help her to be the person she is today and to realize her own humanity?
Regina writes, “At 11 years old I was molested by a baby sitter and at 17 years old by a physician. Because of this I will be the first to stand up and challenge the justifiability of someone who continues to be a threat to society having the same rights as a non-offender. On the other hand everyone has done things in the past of which they are not proud and many have been able to change things about themselves for the better. I know I cannot expect everyone to forgive my past actions but appreciate when they are able and try to forgive them for their mistakes too. While past behavior is frequently a good predictor of future action, this belief cannot automatically apply to everyone When we refuse to acknowledge that a person may have changed, it is an egotistical limitation. No matter what happened in the past I am the first to support people who actually do change their behavior from negative to decidedly positive…Accepting that people change is not forgetting or condoning what they did. It is not offering a free pass to people who have a history of criminal or abusive behavior so they can continue to act as they please…When someone we know has a history of being an abuser or an angry controlling or irresponsible person, and that person replaces promises to change with concrete actions that result in new consistently positive behavior than he or she is taking the first steps towards changing for the better”
Sheryl says that while we know most people fear change and continue to follow habitual patterns from their childhood training, we know with effort and self-investigation of our actions and emotions, change is possible, creating better understanding of why we respond the way we do and accepting responsibility for our choices and actions can lead to a healthy emotional inner landscape and kinder more loving intimate relationships with others.
Regina’s evolving spirituality allows her to view themes such as God, men and women, race, homosexuality, or even animals by holding on to a deep faith in her heart and to know that an infinite, loving power exists and to believe that it has no specific gender, race or ethnicity. “It does not exclusively endorse any one person, group of people or particular set of religious beliefs. These all inclusive positive life affirming values allow her to honor the divine spark of it equally in each human being and inclusive acceptance also fosters a deep appreciation for and obligation to honor and protect all animals and the natural world.”
Regina and Sheryl have discussed the ways to take ownership of our own interpretation and view of our actions and the actions of others to determine the moral fiber and spiritual levels of our own soul energy which not only influences our success in this physical world but the future Universal world we are creating with our intentions, positive or negative emotions and our actions. In “The Living Spirit” Sheryl expresses that we will never know ourselves, God, or anyone else completely as each soul has its perception of reality the past and present, and is constantly in the flow of change while discovering and following their own life plan and destiny in search of greater awareness of Self love and creation.
Regina writes and it resonates with the truth Sheryl lives by and expresses in all her intentions, “It did not feel right in my heart to be forced to adopt the right/wrong, fearful and proprietary view of spirituality. While I deeply cherish Jesus, I also equally honor the peaceful life enhancing behavior of all messengers of enlightenment. Today both male and female representatives of our best potential continue to walk together with us, offering keys to joy, accountability and peace. The goal is for human beings to intimately connect with one another and to be guided by their hearts. Regardless of what path is chosen, living a peaceful nonjudgmental life is proof that the messages of compassion, equality, accountability, and kindness have been permanently written on our heart. It does not matter what name was or is assigned to the messenger we must look past our limiting belief systems to know ourselves, the world and the Universe with an open heart and mind to growth expansion and personal responsibility for our human and spiritual evolution.
Regina and Sheryl would ask you to remember your own divine soul essence and be as are we all the representatives and messengers of Universal Energy and the creative life force of love.
